there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
