I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
