I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
