they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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