btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize