Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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