Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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