She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
