i don't like sucking hair
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just blew my weed a kiss
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
