if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
