they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
