and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
what day is it and did you see me today?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
