i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
