do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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