Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
