There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
