This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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