I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
