I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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