I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
