Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
