When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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