Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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