I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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