Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I love you. Go after that dick
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
