Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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