Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
we should paint friendship bongs
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