And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
