And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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