hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
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Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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