Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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