i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
