Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
