Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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