honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
