I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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