Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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