She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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