what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
