Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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