that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
