I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
