he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize