I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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