maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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