Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
