We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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