No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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