my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
