Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again