Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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