I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50