i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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