best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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