At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
