My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
