You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
