u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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