wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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