babies were throwing up all over the place
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
