the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
