my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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