Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
