Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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