Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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