help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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