Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
