yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
